The Wormburner1

As the right honourable Jeremy Hunt led the country through an alleged, fiscally responsible Budget, we of the Cottingham constituency haggled over cuts of a different kind. In a need to hide their riches in offshore accounts, the Judge had   headed off to sunbaked Benalmadena, the Consonant Kid had opted for the golfing equivalent of the   Marrakesh Express and our foreign minister, the Beau, had only just returned from banking in Barcelona. Prior to Wednesday’s budget, it had been leaked that we would ensure no shots on shortened holes and would play off 85% half handicap for the remaining 11. Those with a mathematical bent will note that our right honourable green keeper had reduced our course to 15 holes.   In my humble opinion and in praise of the new head greenkeeper, the guy is doing a fantastic job under very difficult circumstances.   The cutbacks of tree branches, now provide excellent views of the course and ensure players are not doubly punished if th...