CASTLETOWN GOLF LINKS (WET AND WOOLLY)

CASTLETOWN GOLF LINKS CLUB	https://www.castletowngolflinks.com/
Type of course	Links	18 holes	Par 72
Course distance	White 6841 yds	Yellow 6082 yds	Red 5636 yds
Holes	3 x par 5	12 x par 4	3 x par 3
Played	19/02/20
Claim to fame: Included in the Top 261 of Rolex's 1,000 Best Golf Courses in the World
WET AND WOOLLY Using my teenage granddaughters as sat-nav it was always going to be difficult to check out this course and all that it had to offer, but regardless of their inability to differentiate between left and right I ploughed on regardless in the battered family Astra. As you may well know from a previous blog (Rowany Golf Club: For Every Up There Is A Down), visiting family in the Isle Of man allows me the opportunity to try out the courses on offer and having read that Castletown had recently been rated in the top 100 golf courses in the UK, this was a must. The first right turn into the course (or was it left) off Castletown Promenade brings you to a large grey metallic shed containing buggies galore and mowers of every description. A short walk round the yard and a brief discussion with a heavily clad individual indicated this was NOT the entrance to the golf course, it was however the green keepers shed! The next right however takes you along a single-track road with the large curving Derbyhaven Bay to your left and the signature 5^th to your right. At the end of the track a low bricked entrance curves up to the golf club, which is overshadowed by a large disused Bauhaus/Post-Modernist built hotel. It appears this eyesore was closed in 2011 when the golf course was bought by a local billionaire who had a yearning to bring the course back up to the standard of yesteryear when it occupied a top 100 UK placing annually. The sale did not however include the hotel and therefore the carbuncle continues to look down on the small but relatively well-formed golf club and independent restaurant. In 2017 dreams of demolishing the monstrosity and creating a brand-new luxury hotel and apartment complex sadly came to nothing, it therefore continues to dominate the skyline. Parking up on the curve because the big 4 x 4 selfishly blocked off the rest of the road, a short walk takes you directly into the Pro shop. A warm welcome from the guys behind the counter makes you feel right at home. Discussion re round price, golf hire, weather conditions and tee time allow you to make the right choice for your next visit, that is, if you have time to spare before you move off the rock and back to mainland Britain. Which I obviously didn’t! The course itself lies in a truly stunning location, situated on the Langness Peninsula and bordered by the Irish Sea on three sides, it is truly open to the elements. Coming directly back off Storms Ciara and Dennis, which caused major flooding and damage in the UK it was surprising to find a course that was still open with limited restrictions. The conversation with the guys indicated that the course was relatively flat and therefore anything coming in off the sea was going to hit you hard. As it is so highly rated by many golfing providers, I had to go for it the following day, regardless of the bound to be inclement weather. Wrapped up to the nines and with a newly acquired £4 flat cap from Port Erin’s Age Concern, I was ready for the off. Dutifully dumped by the daughter at the allotted time, as the family went off for brunch, I went off to fight the elements and what a majestic tussle it was. £35 for a winter round, £25 for club hire (quality Srixon I may add) and an additional £25 for the thinsulate Castletown Golf Links Bobble Hat because I had a feeling my flat cap wouldn’t see the round out, made for a relatively costly do. I am however slowly coming around to the fact that when it comes to golf courses, you pay for what you get. Asking about a course guide, before departing to the first winter tee, I was pleasantly surprised to be provided with one, although slightly dated, free of charge. The above costs are slightly more than those charged by Old Tom Morris of St Andrew’s fame who just a few years before setting out Castletown in 1892 confirmed to a potential client , “My fee for laying out a green is £1 per day and travelling expenses.” Walking to the 1^st tee, par 4 SI 17 at 239 yards I glanced at the Local Rules on the scorecard and my eye was drawn to Rule 1 which stuck out like a saw thumb. It states in bold red capitals, THE USE OF DIVOT ANCHORS AND SAND BAGS (PROVIDED ON THE 1^st TEE) AND PITCHMARK REPAIRERS ARE COMPULSORY. So, what is a divot anchor when it is at home? A quick scout of the internet reveals the anchor is a biodegradable pin that secures the grass top back into the divot hollow allowing the fairway to repair more rapidly. I’d like to say I followed rule 1 to the letter however I was keen to be off and wanted to finish before the worst of the weather hit. The 1^st and 2^nd, the latter being par 4 SI 5 at 364 yards, let you settle into the course with gently rising fairways and hospitable bunker placings. Initially this would not have mattered as a number of bunkers were GUR (ground under repair). The 3^rd, the first of three par 5s SI 15 at 468 yards is also easily navigable at this time of year, however the entrance to the green is very narrow and significantly protected by four strategically placed pot bunkers. The dog leg left 4^th SI 9 at 335 yards is a narrow drive over gorse to an expanding fairway and if short of the middle your second to the green cuts across more gorse. Sadly, I came unstuck here and said goodbye to the first of three balls I had acquired for £1 from my milliners the previous day! Surprisingly the signature 5^thSI 1 par 4 at 397 yards held no difficulties for me but I was reminded at the end of the game that I had been playing off the forward tees, Nonetheless an accurate tee shot aimed towards the rising embankment rolled nicely into the middle of the fairway and the second comfortably carried the front bunker. Situated snugly between the 3^rd and 5^th green is a 2^nd world war pill box that doubles as much needed protection from the elements and after only five holes I needed it. The wind and rain were relentless. Inside the murky concrete dwelling the pillars have signs to remind you of the expectations on the course. No caddie cars on the green and the request that three or four balls give way to singles or foursomes. Neither of which were going to be a problem today. After a short break and reconnaissance of the course through the letter box loopholes, I moved on regardless. As you approach the 6^th green, the smell of bladderwrack wafting off the rocks leaves you in no uncertain terms that you are playing on a peninsula jutting deep into the Irish sea. This natural area of outstanding beauty is also renowned for its bird life. None of which I saw today, apart from a lone partridge hunkering down on the fifth in the hope it wouldn’t get blown out to sea. By the time you hit the inland apex of the isthmus (holes 7, 8 and 9) the wind is driving, unlike my tee shots. Hitting into a full force gale, with the rain stinging your face, really shows your true metal. It also gives you the prefect opportunity to observe swaying planes arriving at the nearby Ronaldsway Airport. I’d like to think that keeping my drive low reduced my margin of error however when the ball is buffeted on the peg and the driver head is wobbling in your grip, like an experienced airline pilot, you just do the best you can. It isn’t until the par 5 12^th SI 16 at 461 yards that I turned away from the wind and was provided with an excellent opportunity to birdie, that is until I three putted! A welcoming relief indeed but before I knew it I had turned back into the teeth of the gale. The 13^th par 3 SI 18 at 116 yards, whether I liked it or not, gave me the opportunity to try out a pot bunker. Concrete steps in, hint at the depth from which you need to extricate yourself and after three goes, I was despondent but not beaten. Hiding behind a masonry wall at the 15^th, SI 4 par 4 at 352 yards I took respite from the elements and was able to adjust my sodden attire. Glancing over my very wet wets, it was interesting to note that my continuous movement had forced the wash powder from the depths of the fibres and I glistened from head to toe in miniscule silver bubbles. In addition, the waterproof shoes were leaking, the bobble hat thinsulated no more and the cold was beginning to reach my core. At this point I became somewhat disorientated and couldn’t quite understand why I had to drive back across the 14^th green. Unable to see the pin, as throughout the round all the flags had been tied down, I nevertheless hit a pearler into the wide expanse of fairway. As I walked towards the ball, I glanced down at my golf watch only to notice the distance to the hole was increasing! In an instance it dawned upon me, I had hit the ball in the opposite direction to that required. What a dick! A ball is a ball however and I continued in the wrong direction until I retrieved said ball and turned back into the driving rain. Walking along the bluff edge between the 16^thgreen and the 17^th tee I noticed a rambler’s gate signposted “SHEEP” which made me consider whether the Isle of Man had similar animals to that of the Orkney Islands. A location where strangely sheep eat seaweed! Could our woolly chums have got confused during the storms and travelled from North Ronaldsay to Ronaldsway? Maybe not but your mind does wander when its dropping below core body temperature, after all it is easy to become befuddled! As you come to the end of the round the 17^th and 18^th holes are a complete joy. Not because you are soon to be out of the unsavoury conditions but because of their magnificence. The views are unique. The 17^th SI 10 par 4 at 385 yards sees you drive across a ravine that is encroached by the sea. It is truly stunning and considered to be one of the best links holes to play in the UK. Thankfully my drive, wind assisted, flew like a Little Tern migrating to Europe for winter and landed comfortably on the fairway, unlike the passengers of the Flybe flight BE813 that appeared to come down with a considerable bump. As I approached the final hole of my worthy combatant I was wet beyond words and the course guide was of little use as it resembled a soggy napkin. The tee box had a weatherproofed sign pinned to the floor indicating that works were taking place along the 18^th fairway and one had to be aware of the greenkeepers in situ. The par 4 SI 6 at 354 yards was also a tad confusing as it appeared to have two routes into the green. Unknown to me, the first was a blind second over another gully and the second a more benign shot from a dog leg right. As you approach the green it becomes evident however that this gully exists for a large sign states the following: “WARNING! Rock climbing is DANGEROUS the ground is unstable. Walking & playing golf in this location is at your own risk.” Glancing down the ravine one can only assume that anybody who ignores this warning is beyond mad! At the 18^th the greenkeepers work consisted of a large embankment being laid along the length of the derelict hotel and whether this is to improve the run in or just to hide the blot on the landscape, it was difficult to tell. Overall then, in the most difficult of circumstances I have ever come across, this was a great round of golf. Would it be different in summer? Perhaps, on a sublime day, but I expect that based on its geographical position these days are few and far between. Below the overhang of the external club house /restaurant steps and not knowing where the locker room was, I decided to divest myself of the very wet, wet, wets. As I removed the over trousers I resembled what can only be described as an unstable Flamingo, as I hopped around on one leg and at which point the junior assistant and head green keeper came out of the shop door and in a strong Celtic Brogue the latter said, “You deserve a medal” and promptly walked off. Indeed, I did deserve a medal but at this point in the proceedings a hot drink would suffice. The Green Bay Restaurant is run independently of the golf club, but it is honour bound to support club events and provides decent fare for the passing walker, the lunching lady or the genial golfer. It also provided me with a much-needed pea and ham soup which went down very well as I sat on the comfy leather sofa in front of the warming wood burner. Joining me for a brief chat was Andi Howland who I believe to be the manager/administrator for the club. I had met him in the shop the day prior and Andi provided me with chapter and verse as to the improvements made since the new head greenkeeper arrived. It appears Andy McIntee came from Royal Troon and with his wealth of experience has set about a three-year improvement plan for the course, which has clearly allowed the owners vision back in 2011 to become a reality. The glossy brochures dotted throughout the club house are also testament to the work that has been undertaken by him and his team. As I venture round Man on my golfing sojourn, I do feel that the island should promote itself as much more than just a circuit for fast bikes and crashes. Due to its relative size and number of courses in close proximity golfing holidays here should be a must. In summary then, Castletown Golf Links is a memorable course, with the friendliest bunch of people you would ever wish to meet, but oh boy, the weather! It certainly left its mark on me and I on it, for as I got up to leave I glanced back one last time and noted a rather large damp patch on the leather sofa that I had just vacated. Oh well!