IT’S BACK

So, after 8 weeks of UK lock down the government have moved to lessen the grip on our freedom and have introduced various ways in which it thinks the country will get back on track both financially and medically. The PM sees fit to return us to a NEW NORMAL by introducing, some form of mingling with our fellow human beings, all be it with only one other from a different household. Not only have tennis and angling been reinstated as sports the country can once again participate in, but also golf!

Before I detail the joy, in relation to the return of golf, I do feel it is incumbent upon me to consider why there has been a reintroduction of social interaction. There is still no antidote for this virus, that has to date killed over 34000 fellow souls, nor has it gone away of its own accord. The cynic in me would believe the move by the government is a premeditated attempt to pass the buck for dealing with this pandemic to the people who will contract it on mass, rather than leave it to the leaders who were voted in by the people on mass. Political declaration over let us concentrate on what this blog is all about.

Shortly after the PMs Sunday broadcast, my local club, through various forms of social media, announced, it would be reopening the following Wednesday.

All members were informed that until the IT system was up and running a week hence, you could only book a tee using the telephone. The reason being, it will give the club time to reissue all the elderly folk with their online passwords, in the hope they can negotiate the intricacies of the internet and book in correctly. We shall see what next week brings however early indications from around the country were not good, as on the first day of freedom, tee time booking websites crashed left right and centre. A bit like my drives on the first game back.

To be truthful there are only so many clips of golf, funny or otherwise that one man can cope with therefore to get back out to the real thing was something to look forward to but with whom should I play?

Partners from different settings were getting in touch to arrange times and pairings therefore a decision had to be made as to who to play with first. After eight weeks lay off, consideration had to be given as to who would put up with me the most? It was therefore Nigel who drew the lucky short straw and got me. It had nothing to do with the fact that I had beaten him in our last encounter. A game was therefore arranged for the second day back with an 11.32 am tee off time. Video clips provided by the club indicated how we should arrive, check in, tee off and return after 18 holes.  A lot of thought and planning had gone in to ensuring the appropriate social distancing measures were in place.

With anticipation rising, I took it upon myself the day prior, to prepare the gear. Out came the trolley, the clubs, the bags and the shoes. It reminded me of those halcyon days, when as a child I would dubbin my George Best side lacing football boots before every PE lesson. It also brought back a vivid memory I have of a 12 year old local superstar who was destined for great professional things nutmegging me, looking down at my boots and shouting for all to hear “pity you can’t play like him”.

I wonder if a pre-pubescent Tommy Fleetwood used to make similar comments to kids on the golf course, thereby dashing their hopes of ever being a professional golfer as they shanked one into the trees with their cut down Ben Hogan’s? I guess not, but children in the late 60s were pretty evil little gits.

Regardless of the childish slur on my footballing prowess, the boots were always cared for, which is more than I can say for my golf gear. The trolley was washed down, the trolley bag wiped down and the trolley carry bag fell down, off the washing line, only to be cleaned again. Wheels were detached and washed in warm soapy water and at the end of it all I was mightily impressed how good it all looked. The wheels glinted in the intermittent sunlight that forced its way through the Spring clouds, the shoes shone, and the carry bag paraphernalia had been transferred successfully to the trolley bag. Finally, the Lithium ‘plug n play’ battery was plugged in ready for ‘play’ the following morning.

The big day arrives, up with the lark, bright eyed and bushy tailed. Weather forecast checked 12 to 15⁰C with a slight chance of intermittent rain and a fair breeze. Nothing to worry about, car packed, and we are off.

As I drive into the course my mind drifts to the last game I played and then it slowly dawned upon me, we were using carry bags the last time, to reduce the risk of contamination! Bugger, I had left the carry bag at home. The thought of lugging a trolley bag round with me was far from appealing.

On arrival the car park was not overly occupied, the signposting was clear and those few players moving around were orderly and thankfully had trolleys. Thank heaven.

Nigel arrives moments later, warm greetings are exchanged from afar, the cars are unpacked and off we go.

Looking out from the first tee the course looked immaculate. The green keepers had obviously been busy during the lockdown and with no golfers on the course to worry about they had merrily got on with the maintenance tasks. Tee off time strictly adhered to and it was my honour at the Par 5 first. No driving for eight weeks, it was going to show and sure enough the ball left the peg on a low trajectory but landed with relative safety. Up steps Nigel, who also hadn’t played for 8 weeks and did I mention I had beaten him in our last outing. BOOM the ball flew steady and true and boy did it fly, almost to the point where I thought he might be connecting with the two ball ahead of us! My second was played diagonally from the long grass on one side of the fairway to the long grass on the other. Up steps Nigel and BOOM it flew, once again high and true. I endeavoured to play a couple of better strokes but failed miserably and once again Nigel showed the way. BOOM on the green in three, he pars it and I didn’t.

Second hole a narrow exit from the raised tee box. Nigel’s honour, BOOM straight down the middle. Me, a drive veering to the right. Nigel’s second, yes, you’ve guessed it and he’s on the green in two. Meanwhile, I’m trying to dig the ball out of the high hedge to the right of the green. He pars, I don’t.

Would the third be any better? Not really, another BOOMING par for him and not for me. Now it’s getting boring! The fourth par 3, surely, I can pull it back here. Nope. I drive into the bank of a rather large ditch, TWICE, and he puts it on the green. Four holes played, four down, is there no stopping him? Thankfully, the par 5 5^th SI 1, sees me half the hole and at the 6^th our anti-social distancing comes to the fore as he disappears into the trees on the left and me to the right. I had a little less difficulty then he and I actually pull one back! The 7^th is halved and I think I’m getting into the swing of it now, but sadly no. Two more holes lost and I’m five down with only nine to play!

The back nine sees something of an improvement, if not in the score but in the strokes played. On reaching the 15^th he is dormie four but at least I had made it a little bit more interesting for him.  Nigel promptly wins the 15^th by a stroke and It’s all over bar the hugging and kissing! Well you can’t do that anymore, can you? Not that I ever did.

Regardless of the score, I had thoroughly enjoyed the game. We were out doing something we loved, and it made a nice change to incarceration.

Leaving the course and looking up at the club house balcony, it would have been nice to relax in the warm afternoon sun, with a cold beer, watching others come in. Sadly, that won’t be happening for some time to come and so it was a quick exchange of thankyous, arrangements for the next game to be made at a later date and off we went our own separate ways.

Game over, cobwebs dusted off, hopefully this summer, there will be many more enjoyable games to follow but one must bear a thought for those poor souls who have been less fortunate than us over the last couple of months and undoubtedly those who may suffer in the months to come.

Till the next time.