From Brough to Burstwick with Cottingham in between (Burstwick Golf Club)

 

Burstwick Country Golf	https://www.burstwick.golf/golf-course
Type of course	Parkland	18 holes	Par 70
Course distance	White 6147 yds	Yellow 5780  yds	Red   5124yds
Holes	4   x Par 3	12  x Par 4	2  x Par 5
Played:	5th February 2022
Claim to Fame: A unique and challenging experience for all golfers

 BROUGH

Over a period of five days, I undertook three games of golf. The first a visit to Brough where on a previous occasion I had a less than satisfactory experience (See 27^th July 2020 Blog) . Arranged by my monthly partner heralding from York it was a bright and windy day and apart from the greenkeepers we almost had the course to ourselves.

At the golf shop we were informed the 8^th and 9^th were temporary but the rest of the course plus bunkers were in play. It was probably the first time in four months that I had to play out of bunkers but surprisingly it wasn’t an issue.

I knew as early as the first that I would be up against it, when Michael chipped in for a par and I three putted to grab a six.  It was going to be another one of those days.

Michael had also invested in a premium golf app (Golf Pad) , at an annual fee of £16 and he was all over it like a rash. All over it, to the point he resembled a 14 year old teenager on Minecraft, he was oblivious to the world around him. After the completion of each shot, his head was down, fingers fidgeting, recording, analysing, assessing and judging what his next shot should be. Sadly, as he rightly said, “It’s just a shame, I haven’t got the skill set to do what it says”.  He was in the first throws of a youthful romance with his veritable AI caddie. Being new to each other, the foreplay was something to behold but like any developing relationship, I am sure over time, they will come to love and understand each other so much better. Or go through a less than harmonious divorce, citing a golf watch in the decree nisi.

On completing the par 4 5^th SI 7 at 380 yards, we reached the green only to discover it was temporary! Looking around we could see the 7^th and 9^th tees but no 6^th. With winter tees in abundance, we had inadvertently played the par 4 8^th thinking it was the 5^th. Thankfully with so few people on the course, we then went down the 7^th, came back up the 6^th and jumped to the 9^th! Easily done, although we did have to ask the greenkeepers for directions. Now, I’m not blaming ‘Golf Pad’ but perhaps we teenagers need to lift our heads up more often to see what is going on in the real world!

A three point deficit at the turn  and eternally unhappy with my play I was hoping for better on the back nine.

My drive off the 10^th wasn’t great but Michael’s was a beaut’, as it  headed arrow like towards the stream that meanders through the course. It hit the top of a  wooden bridge and took an almighty 80 yard kick down the fairway. Thoughts of pulling back the three points rapidly disappeared, although the noticeable difference between our play today and that of a few years ago, was, we actually discussed, distance, direction and club selection, rather than saying “Ooh, that was a good one!”. Our shot choice may have improved but our scores still don’t necessarily reflect the perceived improvement. Perhaps when the summer comes round, we will genuinely discover if we are better golfers or not!

Over time I have come to discover Winter play, is significantly different to that of Summer play. Call me a slow learner why don’t you!

Thankfully, at the 18^th I finished as I meant to start my next game, with a well-earned par, but four points adrift for the day.

COTTINGHAM

Two days later and I’m back on my home course. Six line up. The absentee list included Kryton and the Bandit

The former, after recently competing and winning a weekend Betterball, in which the only player taking part  was him, has seen his game go from strength to strength and he is now off representing the club in far flung regions of the  East Riding. The latter is sadly bunkered down in his home, as Covid has finally caught up with him.

We were all ready to play 75% handicap, 2 from 3 to score, that is until the Consonant Kid nonchalantly walked up to the tee.

An individual stableford then, at 90 % it was.

Handy Andy was soon in the swing of things with a birdie at the first. The Judge had got it wrong off the tee and didn’t score, I came off with a bogey. Six points at the first, it’s a shame we weren’t playing 2 from 3.

Following up behind, the Metronome had clearly let his pendulum slip and was in all sorts of trouble. The Builder, having just returned from the Eastern Bloc after competing in the over 60’s downhill snow ploughing comp’ was hoping to slide onto the scene and the Beau  with the scent of femme fatale awaiting him in the club house was keen to shoot from the hip, or some other nether region. The Consonant Kid, after a 10 day golfing extravaganza in the Indian Ocean, was his usual assured self and that folks was the last we saw of them until the club house 3 ½ hours later.

As we meandered the course, early conversation was focussed on how the Bandit could have contracted Covid. More careful than most this man was double, triple and on occasion, for money, placebo jabbed. How could one so careful be so susceptible? Irrespective of what the Judge thought (please note, irrespective, was the Judge’s word of the day) we agreed that one of the Bandit’s Sunday bender’s may have caused him to briefly let his guard down and allow the virus to wheedle its way into his super resistant system. Or was it obtained by some other foul means? Who knows?

Anyway, back to the golf highlights.

In summary:

Handy Andy continued to play well below his All England and Wednesday enforced handicap, finishing with 41 points, and that’s after missing at least seven short putts on the day.

The Procurator Fiscal couldn’t judge it on the day and had a  number of issues with driver and wood. Although, at the shortened par 3 14^th he chose his putter off the tee and obtained a par, unlike us allegedly intelligent golfers who chose wedges and came away with a bogey apiece.

As for myself, I wasn’t too shabby, the straight driving was back, but the putting was off. In my defence, the greenkeepers were in the full throws of punching the greens, (boring hundreds of small holes, two inches apart, in order to aerate the grass), and the Judge said “Blame it on the dimples”, so we did.

This process, instantly brought to mind the first verse of a Travelling Wilbury’s song circa 1990

While you're strolling down the fairway 

Showing no remorse

Glowing from the poisons

They've sprayed on your golf course

While you're busy sinking birdies

And keeping your scorecard

The devil's been busy in your back yard

At the 18^th the Judge commented favourably on my driving. “I don’t know what you’re doing but it’s working” he said. I replied “I’Il tell you what I’m doing, I am . . . . . “ At which point, in his best Halifax brogue, he countered “I’m not interested!” A little severe perhaps but nevertheless honest! Regardless, I persevered and just to show him how good I was, I struck one down the middle, only to see it lodge in the far side of the ditch. See, one lesson from me and he could have done that as well, far better than hitting it over the ditch and bushes and into the trees, but then again, probably not.

At the close of play with his money sacs bulging, Handy waited patiently for the marauding four ball to appear, however the Builder, covid free and fresh from his trip, came in with an excellent 45 points, instantly pulling the rug from under the Willerby Twitcher. 

For me another game, another loss, but I had a lovely day out.

BURSTWICK

Two days more and I find myself at Burstwick Country Golf  with the Friday Boys.

For many years the only reason people had heard of Burstwick, was for the gravel pit, which supplied ballast for the building of the Hull to Withernsea railway line in 1853 and was closed way back in 1965.

A mere three miles north, lies Burstwick Country Golf, opened in 2004 by the Kay Farming family. Burstwick advertises itself as a modern golf course just 10 minutes from Hull where each hole is coming into its own with the continued maturing of tree areas.

In reality, current road works, add significantly to the journey time and the trees have many years of maturity to undertake before they will have any sort of impact on the game.

The course lying in the Holderness area of the East Riding is wide open. Water hazards, bunkers, dips and hollows surrounding the greens add to its complexity as does the wind. Whereas, in most places a breeze is a breeze, when it comes to the open expanse of Holderness, a fresh breeze could be defined as a strong gale and a strong gale as storm force.

Driving to the course along the B1362, you pass through what can only be described as industrial arable land, and as you wander the course, noises from heavy machinery constantly flood the land.

Arriving on the day, with only 20 minutes to spare, myself and the Fitter hurriedly kitted up in the car park and I took the opportunity to try out a new pair of gaiters that I had bought for hiking.

Walking towards the club house in search of our opposition, we were hailed from the driving range and discovered that the Wizard and BB were warming up with a bucket of balls each. Having beaten these two in our last outing they were clearly out for revenge.

As we set up for the first, a dog leg left, the Wizard considered that I was dressed more appropriately for a grouse shoot than a game of golf, all I was missing was the Barbour and deer stalker. Maybe next time!

The Wizard’s warm up didn’t pay dividends however,  as his first strike on the 312 yard par 4, SI 15, went out of bounds, whereas his partners, left an easy chip to the green. Thankfully, the Fitter was in fine early form and matched the opposition shot for shot on the first two holes.

BB then went on to par the 3^rd and 4^th instantly leaving us two down.

The par 3 5^th at 117 yards, SI 16, saw everybody walk off with a par. Easy this game.

At the 533 yard par 5 6^th SI 8 my third buried itself in the pond that runs across the front of the green, the Druids did likewise, hitting the pond with an almighty splash. On arrival at the green, lo and behold, nestled on the far bank was his ball. It was as if the ’Lady of the Lake’ had awoken, and instead of Excalibur rising from the depths, a Callaway Chrome Soft, majestically appeared only to be gently deposited upon the up slope. With no large trees to converse with, the Druid had clearly decided to use his weirding ways on one of the four basic elements.

The 359 yard par 4, 7^th, SI 6, was hard work playing into the fresh gale and surprisingly we pulled one back after an unlikely three putt from BB left the door open.

The 9^th, a 90⁰ dog leg right, SI 1 at 409 yards, saw the wizard take the hole and leave us three down at the turn. It must be true what they say, practice makes perfect and they were turning up the heat.

With the wind whipping down the fairways and cutting through the clothing, a welcome toilet break at the Halfway House was in order but with the ladies entrance being secured by coded entry a dutiful queue was in the offing.  No diddling on the ladies seat at this club.

The 10^th yet another par 4 at only 263 yards SI 18, sees us all bag a par once again. At the next BB is quickly in his stride and again secures another hole.

The 11^th par 4 SI 7 at 314 yards sees my partner on the green in two and in the driving seat, sadly his putter is stuck in the wrong gear and four putts later we lose that one as well. There is no other word for it, we are getting hammered.

A brief rally at the 14^th sees us claim the hole with a bogey apiece and with a par apiece at the 15^th perhaps, just perhaps, we might pull off  a miracle, that is until BB chips in for  a birdie and we are crushed. The gale force wind was well and truly taken out of our sails.

5 and 3 and we are comprehensively thumped.

At this point the Wizard took it upon himself to remind us of those immortal words once spoken by a Dutch football reporter to Maggie Thatcher, “Your boys took one hell of a beating.” And we had.

Although the bunkers were not in play, it was refreshing to compete off proper tees, fairways and greens. The course was well manicured and even after a heavy down pour the night before, there was little standing water in evidence.

At £52 for a winter four ball, it must be said, the cost was excellent value for money

Retiring to the club house for a well-earned beer and a chance to lick our wounds we entered through the club shop, which occupies the wide entrance leading to the bar and lounge. Both of which give the feeling of a quality seaside café, rather than the high-end restaurant portrayed on the website. It is rumoured however, that a course redesign and new south facing club house are to be built soon, further improving the overall experience at Burstwick Country Golf Club.

Five days, three games, three defeats, but very enjoyable none the less.