UNEASY, BIG EASY

 LOW LAITHES GOLF CLUB, OSSETT

LOW LAITHES GOLF CLUB	https://www.lowlaithesgolfclub.co.uk/
Type of course		18 holes	Par 72
Course distance	White 6439 yds	Yellow 6220 yds	Red 5527 yds
Holes	3 x Par 3	12 x Par 4	3 x Par 5
Played		Rating 69.6	Slope 125
Claim to Fame:

Apart from stating the course was opened in 1925, an initial search of the club’s web site reveals no history. A quick search of the Internet however divulges more about what went on underneath the course rather than on it. Golfers on the greens of Low Laithes are probably oblivious to the old mine workings that exist hundreds of feet below.

It appears Ossett and Gawthorpe men toiled away in horrific working conditions hewing coal from a seam little more than three feet high. Hard work below the ground, as it was above in the four ball betterball (4BBB).

In 1925 the fee for gentleman was four guineas, equivalent to £320 in 2024. The annual fee today is £1095 but a visitor’s senior open entry is a mere £18 each, so it was not to be sniffed at.

Our choice of course was based upon the recommendation of none other than our Westie friend, the Judge. Indeed, the four playing should have included our Halifax hombre however a debilitating back injury brought on by rising from a pew on the X46 bus to York saw him take a  back seat. In stepped the Big Easy to partner the Metronome and myself and Handy made up the second pair on the day.

Low Laithes is situated minutes away from junction 40 on the M1, just over 1 hour from our home base.  As we drove along the M62 conversation dealt with major issues of the day. VAR’s, cars and pars. Even a three-vehicle pile-up in the outside lane didn’t prevent us from getting to the venue on time. We were hoping the car crash omen would not translate to a car crash open.

The venue contains a main clubhouse situated in a timber-framed building dating back to the 16th century and a separate club shop in a building of a similar age.  It came as no surprise then that the clubhouse décor looked somewhat dated. Nevertheless the crispy bacon butty in a big white bap and the coffee in an off-white mug had all the trappings of a miner’s homely welcome.

On checking in the lady secretary informed us that today’s competition had fewer numbers than usual, local members had not come out in force. What did they know that we didn’t?

Teeing off early the starter kindly informed us of the following: preferred lies on the fairway, clean and place EXACTLY in the rough and be aware of GUR. It sounded as if the conditions may not be conducive to good golf.

From the first however the vista was appealing, wide sloping tree lined fairways, dark rough and well-tended greens. Across the  course, short narrow ditches and freshly sanded bunkers were strategically placed to trap the wayward shot. From afar the Judge’s choice was looking good and we were all looking forward to the game.

As we drove into the distance the Big Easy and the Metronome went right, Handy and I hit the fairway. 

Sadly on reaching our shots the mood quickly changed. It became abundantly clear why the locals had chosen not to engage. The fairways were uncut and covered with mowed brown grass and the rough was long and clingy. In a nutshell, the rough was very rough and the fairway was rougher still!

The 1^st was a straightforward  par 4 at 332 yards SI 15. Handy started brightly with a par and the Metronome grabbed a bogey.

Hole 2, a par 4 at 396 yards SI 3 saw me and the Big Easy add two points apiece.

The third, a par 4, 359 yards SI 7 had the Big Easy grab another 2 points as I scrambled  one.

Coming across the first par 3, at 161 yards SI 17, it was playing much further than the card indicated and a quick glance at the tee markers revealed white and yellow were  positioned adjacent to each other. 2 points apiece for the Metronome and me. Even though the green police had been out in force, analysing the lay of the land through foot and eye we were only making satisfactory progress at best but we weren’t burning it up, that’s for sure.

As we navigated the front nine the excuse juices began to flow. The Big Easy was suffering from a back injury brought on by vertical sea fishing the day before. The Metronome had a strain brought on by lifting a wardrobe, Handy had woken up feeling unwell and had taken numerous drugs to dull the pain and me, well my excuse was the normal one, I had no excuse.

On the day our partners in crime had a game of two halves. The Metronome was consistent throughout the first nine but with  a handicap of 4, he had to work hard to gain points, whereas me with a massive 21 still must work hard but can creep in on a more regular basis with at least a point. The first nine for the Big Easy was inconsistent and after the third we didn’t see him again until the 10^th. What then was the cause of his nadir? Was it the debilitating back injury brought on by a day of fishing where his catch amounted to ‘nowt’ or was he mourning the absence of his usual partner, The Doc? It seems the Doc had gone on a journey of self-discovery in Espana. A solo adventure walking the Camino De Santiago and prostrating himself at the feet of St James had been on his bucket list for some time. Everyone to their own. But no, the Big Easy was uneasy with the choice of course. At the 7^th he voiced his concerns, at the 9^th rather than tee off he chose to watch the M1 motorway traffic and at the par 3 12^th after plopping into heavy cabbage he threatened to thrust a 7 iron into the tackle of our esteemed  course selector! He was not a happy bunny.

The venting of his spleen however had the desired effect and from then on in he hardly put a foot wrong.

As for Handy, a lot has been said on TV recently about the Scheffler Shuffle but it’s got nothing on the Handy Hobble, which works a treat off the tee. As he drives off, his momentum carries him forward, reminiscent of Alf Iippititmus in Carry On Matron, Phwaay! Whatever the action though he is far more successful out of the rough rough than most.

The dog leg right 10^th SI 16 at 274 yards was a particularly low point for me as my drive hit the farm building and ricocheted into the rough. Whereas the Big Easy came in with a quality par.

The sun thankfully came out at the 11^th and I bounced back with a par, bogeyed the 12^th and then as the sun went back in, I again trudged round the last 6 holes.

Between holes 11 and 14 the normally consistent Metronome had issues with trees and bunkers.

The 13^th at 545 yards SI6 is the first of three par 5’s on the course and to show his prowess the Big Easy powered his way to another par.

Not to be outdone Handy did likewise at the second par 5 17^th at 549 yards SI 13. In total we accumulated only 7 pars on the card across 72 holes, which not only indicates how difficult it was but also indicates how low our scores were.

With final scores of 31 for me and Handy and 28 for the Metronome and the Big Easy it was clear we wouldn’t be claiming any prizes soon.

Like many courses this year, the poor weather over the last six months had in some respects dictated the conditions but on reflection, the layout did appear a little mundane The first eight holes skirt the periphery in a clockwise direction and the remaining holes are tucked inside, many of which are relatively straight, although the 5^th, 9^th, 10^th and 11^th are decent dog legs.

In conclusion, the day had been a bit of a car crash , our crumple zones had folded and our airbags had gone off intermittently throughout the game. If only the course had been in better condition. We will therefore never know what might have been, unless we come back next year, with or without the Big Easy!

FOOTNOTE: A late call up for Handy saw him travel to Bradford the following Monday as he partnered the Metronome in another 4BBB. It also saw the Magnificent Two reunited, the Big Easy once again took to the track with his good buddy the Doc. Like Eric and Ern, Cannon and Ball and Fleetwood-Mac, the dynamic duo made light work of the course, finishing in 3^rd place which hopefully put him  a better frame of mind.